/*
* This is a little print program which will print out the tao of IRC.
* It's my first, of any C- I've never done anything before. This may seem strange.
* but we all had to start somewhere..
* if you run this, you may get flooded; Thanks to UnrealIRCd for the
* tao.of.irc file ;)
* -
* To compile/run, all you need to do is type "gcc -o tao /directory/to/file.c"
* Then to run, type ./tao
* Have floo(d)-un!
* -
* EcKstasy (J Samuel.) <eckstasy@escriptirc.com>
*/
#include <stdio.h>
main()
{
printf("===================================\n");
printf("The Tao of Internet Relay Chat\n");
printf("Copyright (C) Ove Ruben R Olsen 1994\n");
printf("Version of 940110\n");
printf("Contributing masters: Master ScottM\n");
printf("===================================\n");
printf("Something is formed by the electrons, born in the silent cable.\n");
printf("Shaping and growing and ungrowing.\n");
printf("It is there yet not there. It is the source of Internet Relay Chat.\n");
printf("I do not know the name, thus I will call it the Tao of Internet Relay Chat.\n");
printf("\n");
printf("If the Tao is great, then the IRC is running ceaselessly.\n");
printf("If the IRC is great then the server is running without ever stoping.\n");
printf("If the server is great then the client will always be the server.\n");
printf("The luser is then pleased and there is Chat in the world.\n");
printf("\n");
printf("The Tao of IRC squits far away and connects on returning.\n");
printf("\n");
printf("The genetic potential of birth, a lot to know, yet unknown.\n");
printf("In the begining there was nothing.\n");
printf("Out of nothing the Tao gave birth to tolsun.oulu.fi. tolsun gave birth to OuluBox.\n");
printf("OuluBox gave birth to rmsg.\n");
printf("rmsg was not Tao, so MUT gave birth to IRC.\n");
printf("No one knows when IRC came into existance,\n");
printf("the mighty master WiZ have it to be at the end of the eight month in the year of the Dragon.\n");
printf("\n");
printf("Each channel has its purpose, however humble. Each channel is the Yin and Yang of IRC.\n");
printf("Each channels has it's place within the IRC.\n");
printf("In the beginning there was only channel 0, thus channel 0 is the soil of IRC.\n");
printf("Channel 1 to channel 10 then was open as the sea.\n");
printf("Channel 11 to 999 was the trees and forests of IRC.\n");
printf("Channels above 999 should not be mentioned,\n");
printf("and channels below 0 were unborn and contained many secrets.\n");
printf("\n");
printf("This was not the right Tao, so IRC gave birth to +channels.\n");
printf("\n");
printf("+channels had the yin and yang. Mode does not.\n");
printf("This was not the right Tao still, so IRC gave birth to #channels.\n");
printf("#channels have the yin and yang.\n");
printf("Only channel 0 is the right path to Tao, but avoid speaking on channel 0.\n");
printf("There was a great dispute among the Broom-Walkers of the Relay.\n");
printf("Some of them wanted neither yin nor yang. Out of this Eris came into existance.\n");
printf("Some of the Broom-Walkers then created Eris Free-net.\n");
printf("\n");
printf("This was the right Tao.\n");
printf("\n");
printf("Kind Gentle and Boring Net was another wrong path to the Tao of Internet Relay Chat.\n");
printf("Some time later there was a quantity of some lusers who wanted to be Broom-Walkers also.\n");
printf("The Eris Free Broom-Walkers did not agree with them,\n");
printf("thus a new IRC was born. This IRC is called the Undernet.\n");
printf("But this is not the right Tao, either.\n");
printf("There will always be disputes among the Broom-Walkers of Internet Relay Chat.\n");
printf("This is the very nature of the IRC.\n");
printf("Lusers that do not understand the Tao is always using the yang of Mode on their channels.\n");
printf("Lusers that do understand the Tao are always using Ignore on their channels.\n");
printf("How could this not be so ?\n");
printf("The wise sage luser is told about the Chat and uses it.\n");
printf("The luser is told about the IRC and is looking for it.\n");
printf("The flock are told about the Tao and make a fool of the IRC.\n");
printf("If there was no laughter, there would be no Tao.\n");
printf("The master says:\n");
printf("\n");
printf("\"Without the Tao of Internet Relay Chat, life becomes meaningless.\"\n");
printf("The Relay of the old time was mysterious and sacred.\n");
printf("We can neither imagine its thoughts nor path; we are left but to describe.\n");
printf("\n");
printf("The sage luser must be aware like a frog crossing the highway.\n");
printf("The great master Wumpus once dreamed that he was an automaton. When he awoke\n");
printf("he exclaimed:\n");
printf("\"I don't know whether I am Wumpus dreaming that I am a client, or a client dreaming that I am Wumpus!\"\n");
printf("So was the first Automata born.\n");
printf("The master Nap then said:\n");
printf("\n");
printf("\"Any automata should not speak unless spoken to.\"\n");
printf("\"Any automata shall only whisper when spoken to.\"\n");
printf("\n");
printf("Thus replied the master Gnarfer:\n");
printf("\n");
printf("\"The lusers shall keep in mind that a automata can be either good or bad.\"\n");
printf("\"Create good automata, and the IRC will hail you and you will gain fame and fortune.\"\n");
printf("\"Create bad automata and people will start to hate you,\"\n");
printf("\"and finaly you will be /KILLed to ethernal damnation.\"\n");
printf("\n");
printf("Many lusers have fallen into the clutches of ethernal damnation. They where not following the Tao.\n");
printf("\n");
printf("There once was a luser who went to #BotSex. Each day he saw the automatons.\n");
printf("The luser decided that he also would have such a automata.\n");
printf("He asked another luser for his automata. The other luser gave his automata away.\n");
printf("The luser was not within the Tao, so he just started the automata.\n");
printf("The automata had only Yang inside so all the lusers files where deleted.\n");
printf("Some moons laither the same luser then had become a sage luser,\n");
printf("and did create his automata from the very grounds with materials found inside the IRC.\n");
printf("The luser was now within the Tao and his automata lived happily ever after.\n");
printf("There once was a master who wrote automatons without the help of master Phone.\n");
printf("A novice luser, seeking to imitate him, began with the help of master Phone.\n");
printf("When the novice luser asked the master to evaluate his automata the master replied:\n");
printf("\"What is a working automata for the master is not for the luser.\"\n");
printf("\"You must must BE the IRC before automating.\"\n");
printf("Master BigCheese gave birth to master Troy; his duty clear. Master Troy gave birth to master Phone,\n");
printf("for the Tao of Irc must be eternal and must flow as the ceaseless river of Time itself.\n");
printf("Master Phone once said about the ircII client:\n");
printf("\"public_msg is for a message from someone NOT on the channel\"\n");
printf("\"public_other is for a message on a channel that doesn't belong to a window.\"\n");
printf("\"public is for a message on a channel that belongs to a window!\"\n");
printf("Out of this raised the mighty chaos.\n");
printf("\n");
printf("The sage luser came to the master who wrote automata without the help of master Phone.\n");
printf("The sage luser asked the master who wrote automata:\n");
printf("\"Which is easiest to make. A automata with the help of master Phone or an automata made with the help of a language ?\"\n");
printf("The master who wrote automata then replied:\n");
printf("\"With the help of a language.\"\n");
printf("The sage luser was disapointed and exclaimed:\n");
printf("\"But, with master Phone you do not need to know anything about the soil of IRC. Is not that the easiet way ?\"\n");
printf("\"Not really\" said the master who wrote automata,\n");
printf("\"when using master Phone you are closed inside a box. For sure, it is a great box for the lusers,\"\n");
printf("\"but the master will need more power, thus a language is the only path to go.\"\n");
printf("\"With the language the master will never have to limit himself\".\"\n");
printf("\"When using such a language the master will seek the best between the need and the availibility.\"\n");
printf("\"I see\", said the sage luser.\n");
printf("This is the essence of Tao of IRC automatas.\n");
printf("A client should be light and be used for communication.\n");
printf("The spirit of a good client is that it should be very convinient for the luser to use,\n");
printf("but hard for the luser who want to create automata.\n");
printf("There should never ever be too many functions or too few functions.\n");
printf("There should always be a ignore.\n");
printf("\n");
printf("Without ignore the client is not within the Tao of Chating.\n");
printf("The client should always respond the luser with messages that will not astnonish him too much.\n");
printf("The server likewise. If the server does not, then it is the clients job to explain what the server says.\n");
printf("A client which fails this, will be useless and cause confusion for the lusers.\n");
printf("The only way to correct this is to use another client or to write a new one.\n");
printf("A luser asked the masters on #IrcHelp: \"My client does not work\".\n");
printf("The masters replied: \"Upgrade your client\".\n");
printf("The luser then wondered why the master knew. The master then told him about the Protocol.\n");
printf("\"Your client does not work because it does not understand the server. Why should it always work ?\"\n");
printf("\"Only a fool would expect such. But, clients are made by humans, and humans are not perfect. Only Tao is.\"\n");
printf("The IRC is solid. The IRC is floating, and will always be dynamic. Live with that or /quit.\"\n");
printf("The luser came to the masters of #IrcHelp, asking about the Tao of IRC within the client.\n");
printf("The masters then said that the Tao of IRC always lies inside the client regardless of how the client connects to the server.\n");
printf("\"Is the Tao in irc ?\" asked the luser.\n");
printf("\"It so is\" replied the masters of #IrcHelp.\n");
printf("\"Is the Tao in the ircII, Kiwi, rxirc, vms, rockers and msa ?\" asked the luser.\n");
printf("\"In all of them and in the TPC, irchat, zenirc, zircon X11-irc and even the dos irc has the Tao\" said the master quietly.\n");
printf("\"Is the Tao in a telnet connection directly to the server ?\"\n");
printf("\n");
printf("The master then was quiet for a long time and said.\n");
printf("Please leave, such questions are not within the Tao of IRC.\"\n");
printf("The master says:\n");
printf("\"Without the Protocol of TCP the messages will not travel. Without the client, the server is useless.\"\n");
printf("There once was a luser who used the ircII client.\n");
printf("\"ircII can do anything I ever need for using IRC\" said the emacs client user,\n");
printf("\"I have /ON's, I have assignments, I have aliasing. Why don't you use this instead of the huge emacs client,\n");
printf("which also has a messy screen?\"\n");
printf("The emacs client user then replied by saying that\n");
printf("\"it is better to have a scripting language that is the client instead of have a client that has a scripting language.\"\n");
printf("Upon hearing this, the ircII client luser fell silent.\n");
printf("The master Wumpus said:\n");
printf("\"Time for you to leave. I did, now I'm happy.\"\n");
printf("The master Gnarfer replied:\n");
printf("\"Use, but never overuse IRC, then you will also be happy within IRC\"\n");
printf("A luser came unto the masters of #EU-Opers and asked,\n");
printf("\"How can I be, yet not be, a user@host within the IRC?\"\n");
printf("The masters of #EU-Opers replied:\n");
printf("\"To be Tao is to be ones true self. To hide ones self is not Tao,\"\n");
printf("\"and is not IRC, you have much to learn before you shall be at rest within the Flow of IRC. Please leave\"\n");
}
